Bitch-revs: Kita Kita

Kita Kita (2017)

Romance, Comedy, Drama

Filipino, English, Japanese

Movie Rating: 4/5 stars

This movie is not your typical Filipino rom-com (trust me, I have seen a lot). 

Isa. The movie title is not a song title nor a trendy phrase. Less cheesy.

Dalawa. The leads are not your typical loveteam pair. The male lead is known for his career as a comedian and Kita Kita is his first antagonist role. The female lead on the other hand is an underrated actress starring in numerous Indie films. A very unlikely match.

Tatlo. This movie lacks the official meet-cute of the leads. A meet-cute is considered as the foundation of a rom-com movie in which the male and female lead have a cute and romantic encounter that may eventually lead to their romance.

Apat. The movie is Indie-style meaning, less production and more arte. Kita Kita's plot is simple and funny with a tinge of pain (hahaha).

Lima. You can pick up a thing or two in the movie (educational). Who knows that you can go buta (blind) if you are into so much stress. Plus, you get to see Sapporo in Japan.

Anim.  There are only three 6 characters with one without an appearance (Lea's sister) unlike the usual Filipino movies with a complete extended family, friends, kapitbahays, and basically the whole barangay or barrio.

Pito. Two Less Lonely People In The World is the perfect OST for a movie of two magkababayans in foreign place away. 

Quotes:

"Ako lang. Ako lang ang pusong may saging."

"Noong nakakakita ka, 'di mo ko nakita. Nang mabulag ka, doon mo lang ako nakita."

"Isa. Isang beses lang ako nagmahal. Masama ba magmahal ng isa lang?"

Comments:

If you're into Beauty and Beast, then this movie is for you. The romance in Kita Kita is like Belle going blind with Prince Adam as an unattractive person. With the moral, it's not what's on the outside but what's on the inside that counts.

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Bitchlists: Shock-worthy Facts About Game of Thrones (no spoilers)

1. According to TorrentFreak, GoT was the most pirated show of 2012, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016. (and maybe until the show ends)

via GIPHY
2. When Queen Elizabeth II visited the set of Game of Thrones, she refused to sit on the Iron Throne. There is a law that permits her from sitting on a foreign throne. (even though it is a fictional one).


via GIPHY
3. In 2012, there were over 160 babies named "Khaleesi" in the United States. (short for Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals, and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons)

via GIPHY
4. GoT is one of the most expensive shows on TV with an average cost of $6 million. (pricey but worth it)

via GIPHY
5. The show is filmed on three continents and in seven countries; United States, Croatia, Morocco, Malta, Spain, Iceland, and Northern Ireland. (typically the size of Westeros)

via GIPHY
6. Around 700 costumes are made by a department of 100 people in a typical GoT episode. (sounds a lot of dresses and armors)

via GIPHY
7. Both the Dothraki and the Valyrian language were created by David J. Peterson, an expert linguist, for the show. (the Khal approves)

via GIPHY
8. Winning 28 Emmies, GoT is the most awarded TV show ever. (claps for the cast)
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9. The author, George R.R Martin, writes the book series on a DOS computer using Wordstar 4.0.

via GIPHY
10. A Song of Ice and Fire was inspired by the author's childhood turtles. Martin kept turtles in a toy castle and would create fantasize about them living as knights, lords, and kings. (literally, your favorite show is based upon turtles)

via GIPHY

Tune in for more GoT material.

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Bitchepedia: How to Get Away with Your Lie

It does not matter if you lie everyday or occasionally because lying is lying and frequency sometimes does not guarantee how good you are in deception. Fabricating a lie can either land you a good or bad reputation and it depends on how your victim responds to it.

Okay, whatever. So, how to make people believe the lies you tell them? How do you not get caught?

Lying basically is divided into 2 categories with their respective sub-categories;

1. The Lie

 a. Keep your lie simple and straight to the point.

You surely do not want to go overboard and make the lie simply unbelievable. Make something that people would see you do or see you from. Creating an elaborate and complex lie may only confuse you in keeping your the details intact.

b. Avoid including people in the lie (especially without their notice)

You would not want your victim to ask the person you mentioned in your lie that cannot vouch for you. This will easily lead you to being caught.

c. Support your lie with facts and some truth

It won't hurt to tell a little of that truth to make your lie more believable. Myths and legends are actually based from some truth like your lie to be told.

d. Remember your lie well.

Failing to properly recall everything you just said to your victim will get you busted. Stick only to one version of your truth.

2. The Approach

a. Be calm.

Nothing beats telling a lie with that same calmness you do as telling a fun story. Never show signs of nervousness or anxiety.

b. Be confident.

Confidence exudes basically everything. Your confidence tells your stand on your lie and the more confident you are, the more real your lie seems to sound real.

c. Work on your non-verbal communication. 

You should control your blinking and focus on maintaining eye contact. Keep a normal and relaxed posture with a straight face. Communicating with hand gestures also shows your enthusiasm and openness as the speaker in your conversation. 

d. Control your speech.

Use your normal speaking voice and way of speaking which includes your intonation and choice of words. Showing a different way of speaking can make your victim question the sudden change in you.

via GIPHY
Happy lying and remember not to get caught!

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Bitchepedia: Types of Liars. Liar? Yes.

liar.sinungaling.menteur.bugiardo.klamár. 说谎者. うそつき. झूठा거짓말 쟁이. झूठा. คนโกหก

/ˈlī(ə)r/



via GIPHY
There is no other definition for this word but a person who tell lies.

But, there are actually five types of liars.
Sociopath

A sociopath is typically defined as someone who lies incessantly to get their way and does so with little concern for others.These individuals are goal-oriented and have little regard or respect for the rights and feelings of others. Sociopaths are often charming and charismatic, but they use their talented social skills in manipulative and self-centered ways.

Compulsive Liar

A compulsive liar is defined as someone who lies out of habit. Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small and telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary. For the most part, compulsive liars are not overly manipulative and cunning (unlike sociopaths), rather they simply lie out of habit.

White Liar

A white liar simply tells white lies. They justify their lies as harmless or even beneficial in the long term and they sometimes tell only part of the truth and not be suspected of lying at all. White liars may use their lies to protect someone from what they believe is a damaging truth.

Occasional Liar
Occasional liar are those who seldom tell a lie but when they do, they are so blown away by what they have done and guilt overcomes them. These individuals are quick to ask for forgiveness from the individual that they lied to.

Careless Liar
A careless liar is not concerned about trying to hide their lies or making sure they make sense. Everyone can tell that the person is not being honest for they tend to be sloppy with their lies.


Lies are lies whether they are black or white.

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Bitch-revs: Always and Forever, Lara Jean - Jenny Han

Always and Forever, Lara Jean by Jenny Han
Young Adult, Romance, Chick Lit
English
Book Rating: 3/5 stars
Bitch Rating: 2/5 paws

To be honest, P.S I Still Love You seemed enough but it did not gave me the closure that I was hoping for and this book did. Always and Forever Lara Jean was mainly focused on Lara Jean's stage of moving from high school making it the perfect one for ending a series.

The drama was all about moving on with college and taking the risk of being long-distance with Peter. Anyway, I foresaw that Lara Jean will not be accepted at UVA and she sure did not like Spencer Hastings from Pretty Little Liars. I actually love the thought of Peter and Lara Jean breaking up (idk why though). I love Peter, don't get me wrong but it's just that I was not over with John Ambrose McClaren.

Dr.Covey and Trina had a lot of exposure (like too much). At first, it was okay and it was even exciting but as the chapter drags on, I was not liking it that much. I think Lara Jean's senior activities at school deserved more attention.

I read Beach Week and the following chapters during my Calculus class. I would not recommend doing it. Those series of chapters were depressing especially the part when Lara Jean wants to do it with Peter. It was nothing but embarrassing and awkward (Very Lara Jean).

I love the conclusion statement though, it was satisfying.

Quotes:
"Sometimes I still can’t believe he’s mine. The handsomest boy of all the handsome boys is mine, all mine."

"Is this how it goes? You fall in love, and nothing seems truly scary anymore, and life is one big possibility?"

"We were never a thing, not really, but we almost were, and to me, that’s something."

View all my reviews

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Petition for A Bitch's Life (literally)

I care for dogs especially, bitches.

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BitchCraft: Book Purse

Here's the thing, if you are a Stupidly Stupid (see types of bitches), you literally know nothing. You do not read. All your care goes to your fashion and how you look. Really.

So, what would people think if you are strolling the streets with a book in hand?

All eyes would be at you and people will be seriously amazed. Especially people who love books. Well guess what because the moment you open it, your personal things pop up. Your make-up, your wallet, your phone, and your accessories.

This item will make booklovers, bookphiles, booknerds, or whatever name they call themselves, drastically cry blood.

Learn how to make one here:

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BitchCraft: Dreamcatcher

According to Sigmund Freud, a psychoanalyst, dreams contain our repressed thoughts. Behind these dreams are our deepest and darkest secrets, fears, and desires. Even though these thoughts are shown in slips and bits, they can still be considered disturbing to one's sleep and distracting to one's conscious state.

In a bitch's life, conscience and guilt are both vital. Things you have done or will be doing will be suppressed in your unconscious and sometimes, it slips in your sleep and causes dreams. Your conscience will nag you to feel guilty about your actions.You would not want to feel sorry for what you have done or what you will be doing since it basically ruins the point of being a bitch.

So, every bitch needs a protection to filter and block these unwanted dreams.
And guess what, there is a solution to this problem.

Dreamcatchers
A dreamcatcher is a sacred Native American object made of a ring of red willow, or other similarly common and pliable bark, held together by a web of sinew or fiber, connecting to the ring in seven or eight places. It is theorized that they originated among the Ojibwe tribe of Native Americans, but as disparate groups of Native American tribes came together in the 1960s and 1970s (known as the Pan-Indian Movement), the tradition spread.

Learn how to make one here:


Never be bothered by your dreams again.

I am giving away three of these dreamcatchers. Each dreamcatcher has a different style and pattern. Comment down below the reason why you deserve to have one of these and I will choose the best comment.

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Bitchentials: Bitch Playlists

Every superhero has an ost played whenever he/she has a fight scene and eventually saves the day. So, there are no excuses for a bitch to not have one.

Model Bitch prepared playlists for you:

Break-up
This one is for you to listen with your heart broken. Listen to this when you need to move on and cheer up.

1.   Shout Out To My Ex – Little Mix

2.   FU – Little Mix

3.   Blank Space – Taylor Swift

4.   Hello – Adele

5.   Wrecking Ball – Miley Cyrus

6.   Really Don’t Care – Demi Lovato

7.   Since U Been Gone – Kelly Clarkson

8.   Because of You – Kelly Clarkson

9.   Million Reasons – Lady Gaga

10.        History – One Direction

11.        Still Into You – Paramore

12.        That’s What You Get – Paramore

13.        What Do You Mean? – Justin Bieber

14.        Bad Blood – Taylor Swift

15.        The One That Got Away – Katy Perry

Inlove
This one is for you to listen with your heart in love. Listen to this when you feel the tingles of those butterflies in your stomach.

1.   Touch – Little Mix

2.   Black Magic – Little Magic

3.   True Love – P!nk

4.   Telephone – Lady Gaga

5.   Bad Romance – Lady Gaga

6.   Youth – Troye Sivan

7.   Made in the USA – Demi Lovato

8.   I Don’t Wanna Live Forever – ZAYN and Taylor Swift

9.   Love Me Like You Do – Ellie Goulding

10.        Some Type of Love – Charlie Puth

11.        Red - Taylor Swift

12.        Mine - Taylor Swift

13.        The Story of Us - Taylor Swift

14.        You Belong With Me - Taylor Swift

15.        Boom Clap – Charli XCX

Anthem
This one is for empowerment. Listen to this to feel the thumping in your veins.

1.   Salute – Little Mix

2.   Applause – Lady Gaga

3.   Good Girls – 5 Seconds of Summer

4.   Cheap Thrills – Sia

5.   Dangerous Woman – Ariana Grande

6.   Side to Side – Ariana Grande

7.   Focus – Ariana Grande

8.   Problem – Ariana Grande

9.   Bang Bang – Ariana Grande, Jessie J, and Nicki Minaj

10.        Super Bass – Nicki Minaj

11.        I Knew You Were Trouble – Taylor Swift

12.        Mean - Taylor Swift

13.        Better Than Revenge - Taylor Swift

14.        Teenage Dream – Katy Perry

15.        Last Friday Night – Katy Perry

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Bitchentials: Forming a Pack

Bitches especially Queen Beetches come in packs. It has been researched and proven that girls who come in groups tend to look more attractive than when they show up alone. In a wolf pack, Omegas or lone wolves, are often prone to danger than betas with packs for them to be protected of. So, do not be an Omega and form your pack Beta and to be the Alpha.

How do you Form a Pack?

via GIPHY

1. Choose a number.

The desired number of pack members should be first determined before anything else. Choose an odd number. Why? So that when you walk in a line, you'll be in the center. Genius, right? I recommend the number three. Luck comes in three.

2. Choose the bitches.

It is recommended that you choose from the stereotype pool of bitches with no duplication to avoid conflict in personality. 

3. Pick a name.

Try thinking of a catchy one. A name that no one will forget and when heard, gives the necessary chills. Go classy  and choose something with wit not those trashy group names out there.

4. Pick an Activity

Choose an activity that you bitches like in common. Like shopping or gossiping or simply, flirting. This will serve as your tag-action or your identity as a group.

5. Slay

Do what bitches do! Create dramas, pick on other people, gossip. 

via GIPHY

Always remember that in a pack, the performance of the leader matters the most.

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Bitch-ess: TV Series

From TV Series,

1.     Chanel Oberlin, Scream Queens

via GIPHY
Chanel is the President of Kappa Kappa Tau and rules the University together with her minions.

Famous line: "I’ll have a trenta, no foam, five-shot, half caf, no foam, pumpkin spice latte, with no foam at 200 degrees.”

Traits: rich, stupid, mean

Type: Queen Beetch, Stupidly Stupid

Bitch?

Absolutely. The name says it all.

Rich hot famous bitches lack one thing and that is intelligence.

2.     Hannah Baker, 13 Reasons Why

13 Reasons Why - Hannah Baker GIF from 13reasonswhy GIFs

Hannah committed suicide and left 13 tapes to her classmates and friends to hear her reasons.

Famous line: "No one know for certain how much impact they have on the lives of other people.”

Traits: emotional, weak, stupid

Type: Dark Gothy, Pitypity Please

Bitch?

Of course. Why would you kill yourself and bring the people you leave behind a reason to kill themselves as well.

If you have problems, share it. It won’t hurt to tell.

3.     Spencer Hastings, Pretty Little Liars

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Spencer is intelligent and excels on her academic and extra-curricular activities.

Famous line: "You either love someone or you don't.”

Traits: supreme, impulsive, smart

Type: Smartsassy, Lowkey Loki

Bitch?

Yes! With her skills in cracking to as much as anything, she excels everything even murders.

It okay to use your excellence in something you are good at.

4.     Hanna Marin, Pretty Little Liars

via GIPHY
Hanna loves fashion and boys.

Famous line: "I can’t go around without a phone. It’s like walking around with no brain."

Traits: stupid, impulsive, loyal

Type: Stupidly Stupid

Bitch?

Yes, in some ways. She used to only care about clothes and shoes.

Dress well so you would not be underestimated.

5.     Aria Montgomery, Pretty Little Liars

via GIPHY
Aria goes on a relationship with her English teacher that she met a bar.

Famous line: “Am I just destroying everything that I touch?”

Traits: Weird, stupid, blinded by love

Type: Dark Gothy

Bitch?

Yes, her decisions and actions depend on her boyfriend.

Love blinds you but be sure it is not that much.

6.     Allison DiLaurentis, Pretty Little Liars

via GIPHY
Allison basically seeked the attention of her friends and the whole town.

Famous line: "Who’s gonna protect you when I’m gone? If you do this, you’ll all be next.”

Traits: Secretive, self-centered, emotional

Type: Pitypity Please, Dark Gothy

Bitch?

Yes and she is annoying. She keeps on fabricating lie after lie.

Only lie once in a while because time will come, you won’t be able to identify the truth in everything that you say.

7.     Cersei Lannister, Game of Thrones

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Cersei is the ruling Queen of Westeros after her son, Tommen died *oops*.

Famous line: "When you play the game of thrones you win or you die. There is no middle ground."

Traits: cold-hearted, cunning, smart

Type: Queen Beetch, Smartsassy

Bitch?

Of course. Her plan of exploding the sept was everthing.*oops*

Do something you are least expected to do and be good at it.

8.     Daenerys Targaryen, Game of Thrones

via GIPHY
Daenerys is Daenerys Stormborn of the House Targaryen, First of Her Name, the Unburnt, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, Breaker of Chains, and Mother of Dragons. Well, the name says it all.

Famous line: "It seems to me that a queen who trusts no one is as foolish as a queen who trusts everyone."

Traits: cunning, powerful, loyal

Type: Queen Beetch, Long Tail

Bitch?

Absolutely. The path in acquiring those titles was long. The process involved a lot death and all.

Remove those who obscure your path to greatness.

9.     Sansa Stark, Game of Thrones

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Sansa was once a dreamy girl who only wished to be with Joffrey now, she is a woman who seeks vengeance for herself and her family.

Famous line: “The worst ones always live.”

Traits: blinded by love, loyal, stupid

Type: Queen Beetch, Long Tail

Bitch?

Absolutely! The way she carries herself now, she is surely ready for revenge.

Use the unpleasant experiences you’ve had before to shape you now.

10. Arya Stark, Game of Thrones

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Arya is a swordsgirl and with her Needle, she continues to slay those in her path.

Famous line: “Anyone can be killed.”

Traits: smart, patient, deliberate

Type: Smartsassy, Long Tail

Bitch?

Of course! Carrying her sword and slitting throats for revenge counts as one.

Remember your friends and your enemies better.

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